The more things change, the more they stay the same

Well, I don’t think I’ll sleep again, and I’ve never been happier in my life.

I know it sounds cliché, but there is no way to describe the feelings I have gone through in the last month.

Initially, I told my wife I would have to absorb the experience, and then in a few weeks, I would work on finding a way to describe my experience.

Four weeks has gone by, and the only word I can think of is “amazement”.

I see in 3 weeks a personality, a face, and an attitude.

I see in the mirror hope, fear, and sleeplessness

I see on my wife contentment, frustration and foresight.

I see the inside of my eyelids every chance I get…

To describe the process, I guess I have to back to the afternoon of the 26th.

We decided to take a trip to the local mall to help my wife’s little sisters spend some Christmas cash and do the whole family thing.

Of course what I forgot was, I was supposed to head to the 2nd job at 5:30pm.

Go figure…

Well, after a call from a friend of mine, some car swapping, and a shirt change, I’m off the schlep pizza.

Now the fun starts.

About 6pm, my wife starts getting contractions. At 1st, they thought it was just a rash of Braxton-Hicks, but after 2 hours of them coming regular, my mother-in-law called me and said “not to freak you out, but it’s time for you to come home.”

*beep beep beep crunch crunch crunch, bzzzzt* goes my brain. Data processed…

Aww shit, BABY INC!

Foot goes to the floor, and I’m doing 115 on a back street flying home. Thank God my brain kicked back in, and I took it back to a reasonable 50.

I run over to my mother-in-law’s, and there is my wife doing the whole puff-puff breath thing, and I’m looking at her going “ohhh shit…”

Well, it’s off to the hospital.

Here I am, in my shitty ass Pizza Hut shirt, looking like an idiot, and here is my poor wife waddling in next to me, with my mother-in-law toting all the bags behind us.

We get my wife into the room, and now its just hurry up and wait theory. We sit back, get her some water, let her get hooked up to the monitors, and we wait…

And we wait…

And we wait some more…

Finally, a nurse whisks in, and tells us “Well, you guys are not leaving till that baby comes, cause she’s coming.”

Time to zone to Labor and Delivery~ (Sorry Rob, had to get some sort of EQ reference in there.)

We get back into L&D, and it’s now more hurry up and wait. But wait… Van has a plan…

See, the TV up in the corner has an S-Video input, and hmmm… Is that my DVD player in the car? Why yes it is! Oh gee, what’s this? Is it all 3 of the Lord of the Rings extended edition DVD’s?

Why yes it is!

2 minutes later, we’re sitting back to hobbits and a cup of coffee.

More to come tomorrow!

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5 Responses to The more things change, the more they stay the same

  1. miller says:

    “BABY INC!” …no pul fuk, i r no redy1!1

    Orehn tells you, ‘quick dude, zone into l&d and help me cc these bitches.’ =x

    You brought in all twelve hours of LotR extended? Now that’s classic. One question though, where are my burned copies wtf?

    Welcome back sir, it’s been lonely out here without someone who actually gets my jokes. ~.~

  2. Vanayr says:

    ROFL, writing the rest of this now, and all I can say was, it was an experience man… Totaly fuckin amazing.

  3. miller says:

    I think the real question all of us readers want to know is, how is the post-pregnancy sex0r? =x


  4. Vanayr says:

    The wife lasted 3 weeks, then said “ok, we’re doing this. now.” lol

    I laughed when the MD told us 6 weeks, cause all I could think was “you don’t know my wife…”.

    And yes, it’s fine >) lol.

  5. miller says:

    Now that’s a load off my mind. ^_^

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